Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
