everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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