if only i could text you this smell
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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