so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize