drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
