Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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