why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize