spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
me + whiskey = a bad person
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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