Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
