it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I supernannyed him into submission
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
