Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You need a sexual gate keeper
My vagina is officially offended.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
