Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
