would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
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