I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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