you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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