Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
