omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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