Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
