You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
