We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
