I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
