I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
