'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
The beer is more important than you right now.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
