You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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