maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
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