Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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