this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
