An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Acid is not a monday night drug
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
