Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
its not stalking. its research.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
