I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You left your phone here
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