I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize