just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize