O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
