It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
if only i could text you this smell
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jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
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There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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