yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
