There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
