you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
