is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
there was a trapeze. enough said
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
