Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
