you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
