Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
