Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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