Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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