he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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