did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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