I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i believe in u and ur pee
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
