i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
