We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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