I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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