Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I will die if light touches me.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
