Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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