Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
