hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize