So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I need moral support for this bender
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
