All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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