Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
