Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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