More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
