every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Randomize