i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize