Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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