I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
