I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
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I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
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My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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