Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
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Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(