I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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