Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband http://tfl.nu/pijn
  Replies (91) Good night (17668) Bad night (872)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl http://tfl.nu/7i4h
  Replies (12) Good night (690) Bad night (3174)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable http://tfl.nu/h8f0
  Replies (17) Good night (6385) Bad night (1266)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward. http://tfl.nu/6x5x
  Replies (15) Good night (1404) Bad night (6910)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it. http://tfl.nu/0dlq
  Replies (27) Good night (4955) Bad night (1602)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster. http://tfl.nu/w6xc
  Replies (4) Good night (3256) Bad night (811)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  i think the doormans mad at me

  (773): View more from Illinois

  well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): i think the doormans mad at me (773): well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while... http://tfl.nu/017x
  Replies (12) Good night (1275) Bad night (2514)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner. http://tfl.nu/hs5r
  Replies (2) Good night (2146) Bad night (899)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey. http://tfl.nu/h1y9
  Replies (7) Good night (3383) Bad night (683)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~ http://tfl.nu/6n7p
  Replies (5) Good night (2256) Bad night (601)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong http://tfl.nu/jidy
  Replies (5) Good night (469) Bad night (1453)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (252): You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!" http://tfl.nu/xz2t
  Replies (5) Good night (546) Bad night (1152)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels. http://tfl.nu/9jex
  Replies (4) Good night (1328) Bad night (355)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level. http://tfl.nu/kawr
  Replies (5) Good night (792) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after http://tfl.nu/x9h9
  Replies (0) Good night (446) Bad night (300)

Randomize