Texts From Last Night

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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.

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  (269): Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/awvb
  Replies (8) Good night (3071) Bad night (944)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit

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  (732): just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit http://tfl.nu/qpl1
  Replies (71) Good night (8042) Bad night (1032)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?

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  (808): Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way? http://tfl.nu/yy6b
  Replies (15) Good night (4775) Bad night (1236)
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  (426): View more from

  i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair

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  (426): i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair http://tfl.nu/09nr
  Replies (16) Good night (1003) Bad night (5077)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Come see our sink grown plant.

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  (480): Come see our sink grown plant. http://tfl.nu/3v5r
  Replies (25) Good night (4417) Bad night (1368)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?

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  (716): Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate? http://tfl.nu/244l
  Replies (18) Good night (2980) Bad night (1229)
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  (916): View more from California

  New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.

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  (916): New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know. http://tfl.nu/vjk4
  Replies (1) Good night (1592) Bad night (615)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  "I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken

  (269): View more from Michigan

  "Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy

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  (269): "I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken (269): "Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy http://tfl.nu/49f2
  Replies (7) Good night (1656) Bad night (737)
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  (562): View more from California

  I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.

  (416): View more from Toronto

  You are not an adult

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  (562): I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride. (416): You are not an adult http://tfl.nu/skb0
  Replies (2) Good night (1317) Bad night (424)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night

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  (248): So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night http://tfl.nu/96c5
  Replies (5) Good night (395) Bad night (877)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.

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  (423): I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way. http://tfl.nu/5vvj
  Replies (5) Good night (1165) Bad night (445)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.

  (1-678): View more from Georgia

  Sweet, got a date tomorrow night

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  (678): She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet. (1-678): Sweet, got a date tomorrow night http://tfl.nu/04fq
  Replies (3) Good night (627) Bad night (393)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!

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  (256): Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN! http://tfl.nu/hbjb
  Replies (1) Good night (564) Bad night (267)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.

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  (847): Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter. http://tfl.nu/xcxl
  Replies (3) Good night (575) Bad night (173)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase

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  (765): A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase http://tfl.nu/vp0d
  Replies (2) Good night (341) Bad night (270)

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