Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(847): View more from Illinois

I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(847): I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it" http://tfl.nu/8m3i

Replies (34) Good night (1047) Bad night (3543)
Favorite
(408): View more from California

every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(408): every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better. http://tfl.nu/nucz

Replies (10) Good night (2968) Bad night (899)
Favorite
(607): View more from New York

Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(607): Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day. http://tfl.nu/b0xj

Replies (29) Good night (34047) Bad night (1272)
Favorite
(516): View more from New York

any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(516): any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club? http://tfl.nu/452g

Replies (15) Good night (4530) Bad night (876)
Favorite
(226): View more from Ontario

This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(226): This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon http://tfl.nu/4pbx

Replies (43) Good night (14220) Bad night (2269)
Favorite
(630): View more from Illinois

So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(630): So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong http://tfl.nu/7whz

Replies (28) Good night (1011) Bad night (5960)
Favorite
(661): View more from California

Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(661): Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil http://tfl.nu/8mk8

Replies (10) Good night (1819) Bad night (1207)
Favorite
(609): View more from New Jersey

don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(609): don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not. http://tfl.nu/y8qj

Replies (7) Good night (1319) Bad night (791)
Favorite
(612): View more from Minnesota

She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(612): She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again. http://tfl.nu/aifk

Replies (13) Good night (1866) Bad night (682)
Favorite
(479): View more from Arkansas

This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(479): This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!" http://tfl.nu/9tko

Replies (26) Good night (955) Bad night (1751)
Favorite
(319): View more from Iowa

Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(319): Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics? http://tfl.nu/v7hw

Replies (3) Good night (1506) Bad night (417)
Favorite
(503): View more from Oregon

Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(503): Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test? http://tfl.nu/05zv

Replies (9) Good night (259) Bad night (906)
Favorite
(262): View more from Wisconsin

And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(262): And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time http://tfl.nu/233l

Replies (0) Good night (548) Bad night (211)
Favorite
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(724): I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together http://tfl.nu/fgbj

Replies (0) Good night (489) Bad night (206)
Favorite
(787): View more from Puerto Rico

Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(787): Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles. http://tfl.nu/pkda

Replies (1) Good night (715) Bad night (553)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: