i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You can't just leave with hair like that
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away