was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?