What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
now i know why i became what i already was.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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