Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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