you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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