you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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