Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
