i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
